Recieved at The REL-MAR Offices on Sunday, August 7 2011:
From The Office of Bill Cosby:
I have decided to become a Write-In Candidate for President in the Year 2012. Here is my platform:
(1) Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist attitude, in order to straighten out the greedy, big business posture in this country. America and Canada will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States/and the northern border with Canada (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on South-bound and North-bound aliens.
(5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't gettin' nuttin' out. Neither the President nor any other Politician will be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare Checks -- will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40-hour school week, after the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
(7) Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports .... for life.
(8) Crime -- We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more 'Life Sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export of ours will be allowed: wheat - because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid, using American and Canadian taxpayer money, will immediately cease, and the money saved will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance and Lord's Prayer will be said every day at School and every day in Congress and in both the House of Commons and the Senate of Canada.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. Attendees will be invited to take off their hats or caps while the National Anthem is being played and/or sung.
My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes .... never the less....
GOD BLESS THE USA ! GOD BLESS CANADA!
From The Office of Bill Cosby:
I have decided to become a Write-In Candidate for President in the Year 2012. Here is my platform:
(1) Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist attitude, in order to straighten out the greedy, big business posture in this country. America and Canada will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States/and the northern border with Canada (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on South-bound and North-bound aliens.
(5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't gettin' nuttin' out. Neither the President nor any other Politician will be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare Checks -- will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40-hour school week, after the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
(7) Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports .... for life.
(8) Crime -- We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more 'Life Sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export of ours will be allowed: wheat - because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid, using American and Canadian taxpayer money, will immediately cease, and the money saved will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance and Lord's Prayer will be said every day at School and every day in Congress and in both the House of Commons and the Senate of Canada.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. Attendees will be invited to take off their hats or caps while the National Anthem is being played and/or sung.
My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes .... never the less....
GOD BLESS THE USA ! GOD BLESS CANADA!
Bill Cosby
Presidential Candidate, 2012.
Take Our Presidential 2012 Poll at www.xzonenews.com/cosbyforpresident_1.htm
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